The Hunt for Red October

Has anyone ever seen that movie?

It was a great movie....

That's how I feel right now, searching for (1) a trustworthy website to look for a job and (2) a good-looking job.

I'm nearing 5 years of being home now, 4 of which I have been either self-employed/contracted as a medical transcriptionist or have been working for a wonderful company I shall leave nameless at this time. Working from home definitely has had its advantages as I have been able to be here for my children while they are small; however, it has been almost 5 years and the kids do not really need me as much as they used to and, honestly, I am getting bored.

I am a driven individual that needs goals, plans, motivation, etc. Don't get me wrong, my kids give me plenty of plans and motivation every day and I most certainly have long-term plans in mind for them! I just miss the comradery you develop (or should develop) with your coworkers, the feeling you get when you meet the deadline and the work is exceptional, and I even miss the mind-numbing traffic. I guess I just miss being a grown-up sometimes.

Thing is, I want to be cautious here....the Israelites wanted a king and boy, did God let them have one since they wouldn't stop their whining. I want a job because He says it's time to have one. I know if I get a job now, it's definitely His timing -- not mine. I've been self-employed, basically, for 4 years and unemployment is Florida is now over 10%. To get a job now is literally a miracle. Literally.

We really need for me to go back to work, too. The bills are really piling up. My heart is so sad for those people, those families, who struggle so hard to survive on one person only making $8.00/hour. I see them every week coming into the Center and I can't help but want to take care of them. I've started bringing in some of our own stuff to give to them just to make sure they get what they need. I figure if I have extra, I can share. I've been there, done that. Hopefully, if we ever ended up there, someone would share their extra with us.

Anyway, so here I sit night after night trying to figure out what to do. It used to be easy. Pick up a paper or drive down the road and look for a "Help Wanted" sign. I haven't even seen one of those in so long. I remember using websites before and I don't remember them being so convoluted but now you go there and they are so full of "commercials" for this school and that product that I can't see straight. I just want to apply for the job, please. Yes, I would LOVE to go to school, but who will pay the bills in the meantime? Not you? Then, please, let me apply and stop asking me if recruiters can call me or if you can email me coupons for cheese or a free magazine or whatever.

A few months ago, I applied for a job with what I thought was a "real" company. Instead, it turns out it was a recruiting firm of some type...but not a good one that actually tries to work with you and determine your weaknesses and strengths and match you up with a compatible employer. It was funny the emails I started receiving at first, as they were really off-base with the work I've done and the type of person I am. Soon, however, it became very annoying. Eventually, when I didn't return any emails or click on any of their included advertisements, they stopped emailing me. Yes, I could have marked them as spam, but I guess deep down I was hoping they would actually send me something worthwhile.

It's a scary and sad world out there, and I know that some employers are going to look at my resume and equate self-employed to that all-dreaded word "housewife" or "stay-at-home mom", but I know who I am and what I'm capable of...besides, I happen to know that what I have been accomplishing the last 4-5 years has been just as tough if not tougher than what I ever did in telecommunications.

I have balanced my managing skills by helping mold 2 small babies into 2 little people, my organizational skills by managing the home, my accounting skills by keeping the ship from sinking so far, improving my skills as a teammate with my husband through some of the more stressful years of our marriage so far, and all the while still maintaining a career during all hours of the day (transcription is on an as-needed basis and requires weekends too)! On top of all that, I learned how to give more of MYSELF, which I wasn't really doing before. I donate my time to the community by working with a local women's center and I only recently stepped down from managing/coordinating a young-adult drama team. I have been the busiest I have ever been, I just don't have a big fat paycheck and a 401k to show for it.

Someone help me change that.