Stuck in Cymbalta, um, Hades

For those who have known me over the last decade, you know that I've struggled with the progression of my migraine headaches horribly. I've been hospitalized twice (maybe 3x?, can't remember thanks to Topamax!) and have been to 2 neurologists. I've had tons of tests, been on several meds, and there's never a real solution...only band-aids.

To add to my frustration and to that of the doctors who try to help, I am known to always get the rare side effects that come along with whatever drug we try. One drug made my hair fall out. Another gave me a type of temporary blindness for a couple of days until it got back out of my system. I could go on and on. Topamax definitely came with its doozies, but nothing I couldn't handle....at least I wouldn't go bald or blind...I just sound like a ditz sometimes and am pretty forgetful. The joke is that I "used to be" so smart. I really am intelligent, it's just Topamax's side effects make me sometimes seem like I need to have a dictionary or thesaurus on hand at all times. LOL.


Anyway, mostly I'm kidding...I've been on Topamax for a few years now, so I'm pretty used to it. The down-side of that is that as a result, I had an episode of my "chronic status migrainosus" about a little over a year ago (I think, again thank you, Topamax Time Warp). The answer they came up with this time was the Cymbalta. It seemed to work in the beginning, but now I am back to having headaches (though not migraines yet) almost daily.

So, I figure the Cymbalta's not working and I would like to stop it and try something else. Not that easy. I did the research and knew it could be a rocky road and found out the wean regimen I needed to be on. At first, it wasn't too bad...just some really weird visual disturbances, but then I started on the heavier side effects. I had a foggy brain where I couldn't think of words, it felt like my brain was being electrically charged sometimes (painful), I had some really crazy nightmarish dreams, I was fatigued during the day, and my eyes and brain were not communicating. That's the best way I can describe it. This, I found, could be offset with Benadryl somewhat...but the next step I didn't prepare for....

It was mentioned that individuals may experience an "angry stomach". I figured that meant a stomach ache or whatever, and I was ready for that...um, no.

Try feeling like the girl from The Exorcist! That was tooo much! I couldn't lie down, sit up, sleep, stay awake, drink, eat, breathe, nada...without getting sick. I had no other symptoms. I went to the doctor and they put me on an IV for fluids, Phenergan for nausea, and Toradol for my migraine that was coming on from the dehydration and lack of sleep.

All in all, it was suggested to resume the medication.

I called my doctor today, same suggestion.

So, here I am, in Cymbalta Hades. Trapped.

Had I known that the side effects of withdrawal, should I have ever wanted to discontinue the medication, could be that bad I would never have started it. I would have asked them to try a different medication. My migraines at the time were rough (21 days straight with no break, nausea and all, no fluids/food for 3 days, etc) and I realize something had to be done...but something that seems so irreversible?

So, the lesson here kiddos: Do your research before you just jump into taking anything. I usually do, but this time I was so desperate for relief I just jumped. Now I can't take it back. I'm stuck on an expensive medication that doesn't really help and it has my brain in lock-down. I'm more angry at the neurologist for not warning me, because - TRUST ME - I would have asked her to think of something else.